I Am Happy I Don’t Live In NYC Anymore….

I’m happy that I don’t live in New Yorkistan any longer, and this story is one of my reasons:

Return this Jedi’s lightsaber!

The Brooklyn Paper

The force is no longer with him.

Jedi Master Flynn Michael is searching the galaxy far and wide for his stolen lightsaber — and you, Brooklyn Paper readers, may be his only hope.

The Bedford-Stuyvesant engineer was at a Myrtle Avenue bar last fall when a thief snatched what Obi-Wan Kenobi once described as “an elegant weapon for a more civilized age” — a $400 custom sword Michael used to teach young Jedi honor and self-esteem.

“Who steals somebody’s lightsaber? It’s like stealing someone’s toy out of the sandbox,” said Michael, the founder of New York Jedi, a stage combat performance group. “I finally got my uber custom saber, and then some jerk walks out with it.

The swordless Jedi.

“I guess that’s the joke — some Jedi I turned out to be,” he said.

On Sept. 22, Brooklyn’s own Obi-Wan met some padawans at Project Parlor and set his saber beneath the bar. A few hours later, at about 2:13 am, a bearded dark lord grabbed it and fled, according to Michael.

The Jedi says he caught the phantom menace on a security camera, but didn’t go to cops, saying that police reports would be useless. Instead, he put up about a dozen flyers along Myrtle Avenue with the alleged crook’s photo, imploring him to return the flashy light saber.

Then, in December, Michael stood face-to-face with the dark side when the suspected Sith returned to the bar.

But, alas, the scruffy-looking nerf-herder denied taking the blade.

Fellow Jedi were stunned by the gravity of the crime.

“Who the f–k steals a lightsaber?” said Tyler Welsek. “And from the bar Flynn goes to all the time? He’s known there.”

In “Star Wars” lore, a Jedi builds his own laser sword so it is as unique as its owner. Michael crafted his brand for the character of a Tibetan Jedi, using an orange laser and a hilt with drawings of two Tibetan foo dogs and a lotus.

“It was perfect,” he said. “It really reflected my performance style.”

Michael — a self-proclaimed “Star Wars” dork — founded New York Jedi seven years ago with a few fellow saber-masters. There’s no formal Jedi training school, but most members have backgrounds in acting, Kung-Fu, Jiu-Jitsu and ballet.

Every Thursday night, a different Jedi Master leads a class at DANY Studios on 38th Street and Eighth Avenue in Manhattan, but the classes focus on stage combat rather than self-defense — so don’t expect Michael to use (physical) force.

Instead, Michael hopes the thief will decide to return the lightsaber, but until he does the Jedi will be “Hands Solo,” borrowing sabers from pals and using a cobbled-together blade that doesn’t even light up.

“I’m waiting on his conscience to get to him,” said the Jedi Master, who is offering a $100 reward for the lightsaber. “We’re teaching people how to be heroes, and I need it back.”


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